My memories

I am part of an online book club and I get mails from Dear Reader. I was reading excerpts from Suzanne Beecher's Muffins and Mayhem- Recipes for a Happy (if disorderly) life. I found that I have lots of memories tucked away which I constantly reminisce about to my husband. My childhood memories, my teen years, my college years, my work life and of course our sojourns to many countries together. A person's life is worth nothing if he/she cannot have fond memories.. There must have been a lesson,something which must have influenced us to do what we do now, something which must have made us what we are, something which must have refined our actions, behaviors. I want to seek that something which dwells in my past and bring it in my writings. Lets hope I succeed.

I am happy now, was a bit disappointed and lost in the morning, but am content now.. Why? Because I heard something very nice..My daughter came back from school today and hugged me, kissed me and then started singing,"Daddy and mommy, I love you, Hug me, Kiss me and I love you" Sweet, huh! Children are gifts from God, that's very true.Whenever I am down or sad, one look at her and the cute smile which she gives me and a hug from her does the trick..So here's my antidote for all sorrows and disappointments.

Take a child, give her an arm full of hug, face full of kisses and ask her for one, when she gives you a sweet little hug and a cute little kiss, all your cares are blown away..

Fresh from Grief!

My Grandmother passed away on Apr 2nd. I couldnt travel to see her in the end due to visa problems. I was shattered. My grandmother was a force to reckon with even at an age of 88. All her faculties were good, only towards the end did we see a rapid deterioration. There were lapses in her memory, she couldnt walk and was restricted in the bed during the last week. It was hard on my parents, but I think it would have been harder on my grandmother. She lived on her own with my disabled aunt till 5 years back. Even before she passed away, she was constantly saying that she wanted to stay on her own..Although she didnt exhibit any particular like towards my mom, her daughter in law, (she was always quick to criticize my mom), she had always loved me.. So I miss her a lot. I still cant believe that she has passed on. I think she lost her will to live when she became restricted to bed. The last time I had visited her and my parents, I couldnt spend enough time with her due to various reasons, so I had promised myself that I would compensate during my next visit. But when this news came, I was overcome with the guilt that I didnt spend enough time with her. I think we dont realize when we have some things with us, only when that thing is forcibly taken away do we realize the importance.. I can still remember how she cried when I left for the airport the last time I visited with her. I didnt know then that I would not see her after that time.. How limited we are! Oh My grandma, I miss you lots and lots...

My daughter

My Daughter..my beautiful little daughter. We have learnt to enjoy things from my daughter's eyes. Sometimes I think we dont pause to enjoy the finer points of life.Life is full of surprises, life is beautiful, every day dawns gloriously and only as a child can we enjoy such simple pleasures. Being with my little daughter, i get to explore life. When she comes back from the school, she sprawls in the grass, smells the beautiful flowers, I was a bit hesitant at first, then I paused to enjoy what she is doing and Voila, I really really enjoyed it. Just yesterday, we had gone out for shopping, which was mundane.. She got out of the car and was walking along with us and suddenly she stopped. She looked up at the sky and told us, "Daddy, Mummy, look at the moon, its so beautiful" We looked up to see the moon and felt "Wow, Why did we miss this?" We stood there for some time and looked at the moon and the stars, felt at peace.. Live your life to the fullest. Enjoy every single minute, every single day, every second.Do what your heart tells you to, do not hesitate what others might think.. Life is good..

Part 2-My Friend

As the days go by, I have realized more and more that people who reside in the hearts are the people who have no expectations. They go out of their way to help their friends and relatives and those in need. Some people just accept help from others and dont bother to care about them later on. Among these two groups of people, my friend belonged to the first kind.Sometimes I think that the grieving process takes a longer time when it is such a close friend.This was all very sad when I think about it. But when I think longer, I feel that my friend wouldnt have wanted me to be sad for a long time, instead would have wanted me to enjoy finer things of life.

There are many things that I have learnt from such a loss. That is,to enjoy what we have when it lasts... to enjoy each and every day, every minute, every second, to live life to the fullest...

Part 1

I felt the need to write today, start on a new fictional piece "My best friend". iT goes as follows.
Part 1
This is an ode to my friend. My friend was there right from my childhood, we would share so many things with each other, we would laugh together at each other's silly jokes and tantrums, tease each other, ofcourse loved each other. As children, we always had a way of consoling each other when disappointed, we always knew when there was something wrong with the other and we would go out of the way to comfort the other.. We didnt study in the same school, so we would share each other stories about the schools and my friend would always wish to study in mine.. We became closer as years flew by, thought our bond was stronger than any, we promised each other that we would be there for each other throughout our lives, but I learnt that unfortunate circumstances and situations do occur in life. My friend contracted an illness for which cure is so limited, I was with my friend throughout the struggle, I prayed and I lost my friend after a continuous struggle. It was a big blow to me, my heart felt ripped. I felt that I had lost a part of me for ever. It would never be the same without my friend. There would be no one to share my deepest thoughts and secrets with, there would be no one to console me, no one to laugh at my stupid jokes, no one to hold hands while crossing the road, no one to appreciate me on my success, no one to lavish attention on my child.

A profound message

I just got this forwarded message and I found it profound.. The message in it is so relevant that I thought to share it.

There was a blind woman who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her.She told her boyfriend, "If I could only see the world, I will marry you." One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend. He asked her,'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me? The woman looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him. Her boyfriend left her in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying: Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.

This is how the human brain often works when our status changes. Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.

Life is a GIFT.

Today
Before you say an unkind word - Think of someone who can't speak. Before you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone who has nothing to eat.
Before you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion.

Before you complain about life -Think of someone who died too early.
Before you complain about your children - Think of someone who desires children but they're barren.
Before you get upset about how dirty your house is - Think of the people who are living in the streets.
Before whining about the distance you drive Think of someone on the bus or who walks because they can't afford a car (or gas!)

And when you complain about your job - Think of the unemployed and those who wish they had your job.
The next time you grumble or mumble about aches and pains -Remember the disabled, paralyzed or hospitalized.
But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another
-Remember that not one of us is without sin and we all answer to one MAKER.

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a smile on your face and thank GOD you're alive and still around.

My daughter

I have a three year old who is sweet,cute, and naughty all at the same time.. The time I spend with her is so refreshing that I have learnt to enjoy even mundane things and happenings. Only last week, she did something which made me gasp and laugh at the same time.. I had left her playing in her room peacefully to go for a bath, and lo and behold, what do I see when I come back, the tissue box overturned, all the tissues having been dragged out on the floor, and when she saw me, before I start giving her the speech about behaving etc etc, she starts singing,"Bits of paper, bits of paper, lying on the ground; makes the place untidy, makes the place untidy, pick it up". I didnt know whether to laugh or give her a time out.. Children sure are intelligent these days!!

Friends

Its been a long time since I wrote anything here. Have been doing lot of things, all at the same time.. Now that, there is some some free time, I am back to my writing. Oh, well, there is this writer's block.. Cant seem to write immediately.. Well, here I go.

I just got back with some of my friends from school.. Its been nearly 13 years since I last met them, but nothing seems to have changed.. They behave the same..It as if the 13 years have not existed.. We got back on our ribbing each other and it was wonderful. Its when I realized that good friends dont just go away, they are just a call away..Good friends dont judge, they just wait for us to come back to them.. As we have moved to different places, we have made many friends and all of them are just a call away. Its true whatever anyone says, "Relatives are not chosen, they just happen to you, so you dont have any control over what you get for a relative; but friends, you can choose.. So friends understand better than relatives" I thank God for bestowing me with such wonderful friends..